Supporting Your Anxious Child: Practical Tips for Parents

If you're a parent and your child struggles with anxiety, you know it can be tough. Watching them worry, stress, and sometimes even panic can be heart-wrenching. You’ve tried logic, you’ve tried reassuring them, but nothing seems to help. You’re not alone, and there’s a lot you can do to support them. Parents often unintentionally reinforce their child’s anxiety, and handling it can feel counterintuitive. But don’t worry—there are plenty of helpful strategies to guide your child through their anxiety. Here are some tips to help them manage their worries more effectively.

What Is Anxiety, Anyway?

Before you can help your child, it’s important to understand what anxiety is. Anxiety is simply the body’s way of responding to fear or worry. When we’re anxious, we might feel a racing heart, sweaty palms, or a knot in our stomachs. Kids can experience anxiety in many ways—from worrying about school to being afraid of trying new things. It’s important to remember that anxiety isn’t something your child can “just get over” on their own—it’s a real feeling that needs some guidance to manage.

How to Break the Cycle

So, what can you do to help your anxious child? Here are a few key takeaways that can make a real difference:

1. Don’t Avoid the Anxiety—Face It Together

It might seem easier to avoid situations that make your child anxious (like skipping school or not going to a party), but avoidance actually makes the anxiety worse. The goal is to help your kid gradually face the things they’re scared of in small steps. For example, if they’re nervous about going to a new place, start with talking about it, then role-play the situation, and finally, help them experience it with you there for support. Over time, this can help them feel more confident and less afraid.

2. Teach Them How to Manage Their Anxiety

Instead of constantly reassuring your child when they feel anxious, teach them how to cope. This could be through simple techniques like deep breathing, counting to ten, or talking about how anxiety is a normal feeling that everyone experiences sometimes. When kids learn to manage their own anxiety, they feel more empowered and in control.

3. Reassurance Isn’t Always Helpful

As much as you want to comfort your child when they’re anxious, giving them too much reassurance can actually make things worse. Instead of saying, “It’s okay, everything’s fine,” try something like, “I know you’re feeling nervous, but you can do this.” This helps shift the focus away from the anxiety and encourages your child to face their fears head-on.

4. Stop Accommodating Anxiety

Sometimes, we might give in to our kids’ anxious behavior out of love or fear of them being upset. This could mean letting them skip school or avoid things they’re afraid of. But this actually feeds into the anxiety. Instead, encourage your child to face their fears with support, helping them push through the anxiety. It’s tough, but the more they face things that make them anxious, the less powerful the anxiety becomes.

5. Take Care of Yourself, Too

Parenting an anxious child is exhausting. It’s important for parents to take care of their own mental health as well. If you're stressed or anxious yourself, it’s harder to help your child manage their feelings. So make sure to find ways to unwind, relax, and recharge. Seeking support through therapy for yourself can also serve as a great modeling tool for your child.

Use Play to Your Advantage

Sometimes talking about feelings isn't the easiest way to approach anxiety, especially with kids. Play, on the other hand, is something they connect with! Here are several creative ways to help your child understand and manage their anxiety through play:

1. Create a "Worry Box"

A simple activity is creating a "Worry Box." It’s a physical space where your child can “put” their worries. Help them write down their worries on little slips of paper and place them in the box. This is a visual way for kids to externalize their anxiety and realize they can let go of those fears, even if just for a little while.

2. The “Worry Monster” Game

Introduce a playful character, like a "Worry Monster," to help your child manage their anxious thoughts. You can create a silly monster who “eats” worries. Whenever your child feels anxious, they can talk to the Worry Monster about their fear and then “feed” it to the monster. This makes anxiety less scary and more manageable.

3. Imaginary Play

Role-playing situations can help your child face their fears. Let’s say they’re nervous about going to a new place or trying something new. You can role-play the situation with them to help them feel more confident. Pretend to be the “fearful” character and let your child coach you on how to face the anxiety. This empowers them and shows them that it’s okay to be afraid, but it’s also okay to face that fear.

Books to Help with Kids’ Anxiety

There are several great books that provide tools and strategies to help kids manage anxiety:

• Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents – Reid Wilson & Lynn Lyons
  This book gives parents practical tools to help kids face their fears and build resilience. It’s packed with advice on how to deal with anxiety without letting it control your child’s life.

• Playing with Anxiety – Reid Wilson & Lynn Lyons
  A playful, interactive approach to helping kids understand and manage their anxiety. This book uses fun exercises to help kids face their fears and take charge of their anxious feelings.

• Worry Says What? – Allison Edwards
  A simple and engaging story that helps kids understand what worry feels like and how to manage it. It gives them a way to talk about their anxious thoughts and realize they don’t have to believe everything worry tells them.

• Don’t Feed the Worry Bug – Andi Green
  This book introduces a cute “Worry Bug” character and teaches kids how to avoid feeding it. It’s a fun way to help kids understand they don’t have to let their worries take over.

Final Thoughts

If you’re a parent whose child is struggling with anxiety, we hope this article has given you some helpful tools to support your child in managing their worries. At Willow and Moss Counseling, we're here to help you get started and find what works best for your unique family. Don’t hesitate to reach out to us to learn more about how we can support you and your child through this journey.

Willow & Moss Counseling – Compassionate Therapy in Cherokee & Cobb County, Serving Woodstock, Holly Springs, Canton, Kennesaw, and Marietta.