How to Have a Panic Attack
(Yes, really.)
If you’ve ever had a panic attack, you know how miserable and terrifying it can be. Your heart races, your chest tightens, your thoughts spiral into worst-case-scenario mode, and it feels like something terrible is happening—or about to happen—right now.
Which is why the usual impulse is to do everything in your power to stop it. Avoid it. Fight it. Shut it down. Escape. And honestly, that’s understandable. Who wouldn’t want to avoid something that feels like dying?
But here’s the wild twist: trying not to panic often makes things worse. What if, instead of trying to prevent panic attacks altogether, you focused on getting really, really good at having them?
Stick with me.
The Problem With Avoidance
Avoidance is the short-term fix that creates long-term problems. If you avoid the places where panic tends to show up—Target, church, the grocery store, traffic—you may get temporary relief. But now your brain starts to associate those places with danger. That wiring gets stronger the more you avoid, and suddenly your world gets smaller.
Instead of avoidance, we want to go toward the thing—but in a way that helps your nervous system learn that panic is uncomfortable, not dangerous.
Step One: Name the Thoughts (Without Getting Hooked by Them)
Panic thoughts are sneaky, and they tend to follow a script:
“I can’t handle this.”
“I’m going to die.”
“I’m losing control.”
“I can’t breathe.”
“Something bad is happening.”
The key here is thought diffusion—learning to notice these thoughts without automatically believing them. They’re not facts; they’re fear talking.
Try this:
Instead of “I’m going to die,” you can say,
“I’m having the thought that I’m going to die.”
It’s a subtle shift, but it creates space between you and the panic narrative.
You are not your thoughts. You are the observer of your thoughts. That distinction matters.
Step Two: Ride the Wave
Panic comes in waves—intense, yes, but temporary. If you can ride it instead of resist it, it will pass. Fighting it is like struggling against a riptide. But if you float? You’re a whole lot more likely to make it through intact.
Here’s what that can sound like in your head:
“This is panic. It’s uncomfortable, not dangerous.”
“This is a wave. I’m riding it.”
“My brain is misfiring right now. This will pass.”
That internal stance—curious, observing, present—is what keeps you from getting pulled into the undertow.
Step Three: Breathe Like a Human (Not a Hummingbird)
When panic hits, your breathing often gets shallow and fast—which just fuels more panic. Your body interprets that as a threat signal. So we want to send a counter-signal.
Enter: the physiological sigh (or diaphragmatic breathing).
Here’s how:
Inhale deeply through your nose.
Take a second inhale at the top of the breath (just a small one).
Exhale slowly and fully through your mouth.
Repeat. For two minutes. Minimum.
This isn’t a one-breath-and-done situation. It takes time to kick in. Your nervous system needs a few minutes to respond, so you keep going—even if it feels pointless at first. That’s normal. Keep breathing.
Step Four: Exposure (Yes, On Purpose)
Avoiding the places where you’ve had panic attacks? Totally human. Also totally reinforcing the fear. What exposure therapy teaches us is that the only way out is through.
That doesn’t mean throwing yourself into the deep end. It means going in on purpose and with a plan.
Start small.
Go to the place where panic shows up, expect the panic, and practice riding the wave.
Use the breathing.
Notice the thoughts.
Let them come and go.
Over time, your brain starts to unlink “this place” from “panic = death.” And freedom starts to return.
Final Thoughts
You don’t have to stop panic attacks to get your life back. You just have to get better at having them.
That means:
Noticing your thoughts instead of believing them.
Breathing like it matters (because it does).
Feeling your way through the wave without judgment.
And gently, gradually returning to the places you’ve been avoiding.
The goal isn’t to be fearless. The goal is to be less afraid of fear itself.
Because once you stop treating panic like the enemy, you take away its power. And that’s when things really start to shift.
